Meadow Sweet

Monday, December 26, 2005

couldnt sleep last night.
lying on the bed thinking lotsa things.
all i want for christmas is going back to the past. when every smile was so true.
things aint the same now anymore.
ppl has been neglecting my trust in them.
listen, it doesnt matter if you hurt me in any way, just please please pleaseee dun lie to me. really.
cos i'll believe you.
if theres a need to lie, please lie a good one such that i'll never ever know the truth, never ever know that you're lying.
so many times, even though i know you're lying, i kept quiet.
thinking that there must be a reason behind it therefore i didnt prompt into it.
i've tried so many a times just to believe you for once last time.
even though i have a doubt in whatever you've said, i still force myself, tell myself.
"i believe you"
im only hoping that for that one last moment, you'd be truthful.
but you did not cherish my last trust, all that i've got is nothing but a lie again.
i duno if i can find back my trust in you once again.
i seriously doubt so.
please do not take my trust for you for granted.
when i believe you wholeheartedly, you lied to me continuously, thinking that its alright.
it really hurts.
truth might hurts but do you know, lie hurts much more than that.
i'd rather be hurt by truth than by lies.
at least i know in my heart, you did not lie to me.
my heart is like so dead now.
couldnt bring myself to be lied to again.
i give up.
if you happened to be reading this, dun ask me anything about this at all.
i have no wish to answer it. if you duno who im referring to, ask yourself.
have you ever lied to me?
and also a msg to all, do not lie.
i want friends whom i can trust, who dont lie to me and believe me.
its not too much to be ask for.
thats what TRUE friends are for.
whatever was the promise we've made on "no matter what, i'll believe you",
i shant keep that promise anymore.
although i really hate myself for breaking my own promise, but i dont wanna believe your lies.
pardon me for that.

i just realised lotsa things last night.
so i've decided to start my life afresh.
if my life in the past can be so happy and right, why cant i have the same feeling now?
just a choice on whether how the way we wanna live our life.
then i think of those happy times i used to have. those sweet moments.
and realised they were all given by my friends.
does it mean i'll be happier with friendships?
maybe it does.
so everthing shall be maintained as friendships.
i wanna change my life!
=)

thanks to those buddies whom i found to confide to last night and this morning.
i really felt better after saying out all those in my heart.
thanks for being such a nice listening ear to me.
i really appreciate loads.

2:57 PM