Meadow Sweet

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

was wrapping my books just now.
sec 2 dint really bother to wrap it and the books all looked like shit.
now every book is new so must treat it better.
and i guess with neater book, i can study better.
made a promised to myself. next year i must really study hard!
but wait, thats the how many times i've said it? haha.
everytime got back my result, i'd be grounded for a long time.
so maybe a good result can exchange for my freedom?
frankly speaking, for the past 2 years in my secondary school life and plus primary school life, i've never experienced stress before. not even a tiny winy bit.
my parents are good in the sense that they never give me stress esp my dad.
he doesnt stress me at all in my studies and he gives me more freedom than my mum!
just that hes super sensitive in cleaniness.
no matter what, our room must never never be untidy.
but too bad, i dint fulfill that. lol.
alright back to topic. well, i believe i can do better next year. if only i have a better learning attitude.
such as concentrating more during lesson time instead of falling asleep, scribbling things on my book, drawing, smsing, listening to mp3, eating, day-dreaming and worst of all, copying homework!
or worst-est of all, asking people to help me do homework. lazy to even copy. how bad was i.
die, no wonder couldnt catch up with the others.
all these had given me nothing but trouble, all that i've got was a lousy result slip.
anyway, i've decided to give up on certain subjects in order to pull up the rest.
i shall give up on my social studies. its no difference from history.
and since i've gotten 10% only for my exam, what for carrying on? it wouldnt get anyway better. and chinese too.
since i came to secondary school, i've never seen any improvement in my chinese at all.
instead, its getting from bad to worst.
now the chinese is so chim, no hanyupinyin. how to read?!
and this sub is damn difficult to learn.
regarding the subs i wanna concentrate on is my maths, science, literature and perhaps poa?
haha duno any shit to that. new to it.
i thought i always wanna take poa that sub so im always aiming for 3-4 but when i saw that textbook, it shocked me. that is damn thick!
but still, i've to study it.
like i've mentioned before, i wanna spend my remaining hols wisely.
instead of reading story books, i can read textbooks too. =)

anyway, i relented.
on the 24th, im going to aunt's house to stay till 31th.
since my mum is giving me money to do some shopping if im going there.
and with the money, i can go lan shop use com.
but NO WAY am i going to spend my christmas downthere!
i'll make myself disappear on that night. =D

only had one meal today and it was my dinner.
i dont even know if i hungry now?
just feel like sleeping.
haha.
i think im more tired than hungry.
shall turn in soon.
ciao!

sorry that i did not get the fact right before accusing you.
you dont have to apologise. i should be the one.
i dint know about it.
really sorry.
-
but my mood is still not back yet.
when will it ever come back?
i miss myself smiling truly from my heart.
now all those are so forceful.

1:27 AM